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5 Reasons Why Everything Happens For A Reason In Life

Some time ago, I walked away from a business. I still remember the feeling when I did it. I was overcome with this sensation of animosity and guilt. I was engulfed in defeat and despair. I had spent three years building that business and it could have easily become a 9-figure empire at the bare minimum. But I walked away.

When I did, I really questioned whether everything happens in life for a reason. But somewhere, in the back of my mind, I heard the voice of God. I knew that only He could turn a mess into a message, a test into a testimony, a trial into a triumph and a victim into a victory. I knew there had to be a reason for it all. I just couldn’t find it at the time.

Anytime we fail at something, we’re overcome by a sense of defeat. It’s nature. And it’s part of life. We all go through it. Does it feel good? Nope. Not in the slightest. But you can’t always expect life to be rainbows and sunshine. But there is a reason for the things that happen to you. In fact, the greatest lessons you could ever learn in life are born from failure.

I think that too often, people are so afraid of failure that they spend most of their lives running from it, when, in fact, it should be embraced and welcomed. You will never learn from success. You will never improve if you’re always living on easy street. There is true strength and progress to gain just outside of your comfort zone.

Still, I know that this doesn’t make it feel any better. I can only relate the journey. I can only convey how it feels. I can relate the pain and help others discover ways through it. I can’t make it better. No one can. But through the pain of failure and our most trying experiences, something wonderful is born. It’s a renewal of spirit, a birth of rejuvenation and an overall belief in greater things to come.

If you have faith in God, Allah, Buddha, or simply the universal oneness that binds us all, you’ve likely realized that everything in life does happen for a reason. And, even when you can’t understand it at that very moment, it does. Because, down the line, somewhere in the future, somewhere in the unknown, something else happens that’s so wonderful, that it’s only then that you realize it would have never come to fruition had you not suffered that earlier tragedy in the first place.

Why Things Happen For a Reason

If you’re suffering through a tragedy right now, then my heart goes out to you. I know the feeling of despair all too well. Maybe I’m just an extremely sensitive person, but it affects me deeply. Yet, then again, failure and tragedy affects everyone. It might impact us differently, but at the end of the day, it does impact us.

But there’s a reason why those things happen to you. Failure and tragedy are by design. They are part of nature’s chisel, chipping away at us in an attempt to improve our lives. However, it doesn’t happen by sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself. You have to turn that mess into a message. You might not realize it today, but there is a grand design.

When I walked away from that business, there was one thing going through my mind. All I could think about was the fact that human beings were meant to thrive, not just survive. I was living in survival mode. Mentally and emotionally and even spiritually, I was on survival autopilot. I was trying to survive the emotions that had engulfed me and altered my perspective.

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But I realized that this experience and this situation was meant for me to thrive. And thrive I have. It’s funny how things can really alter your trajectory if you embrace them rather than run from them. I was put here for a reason. I was meant to help others realize the utility in their failures and not to run from them. Sure, there are other reasons for my existence, but that’s certainly one of the cornerstones.

What had happened to me was that I was getting further and further away from helping others. I was so immersed in my own sh*t that I couldn’t see the proverbial forest through the trees. But since that experience, some extraordinary things have happened to me.

For a long time, I had ignored networking and building deep and lasting relationships with people. But after that experience, I drowned myself in helping others. I created immense value for others without anyone ever asking me to do so. I built bridges, not walls. Now, if you want to go forward in life, then that’s exactly what you need to do. Because, by adding value in this world, and by helping others achieve their own success, you form the deepest and longest-lasting bonds.

Yes, everything does happen for a reason in life. Everything. We might not realize it. But it does. And they do. However, there are 5 underlying reasons why I feel that everything happens for a reason in life. These 5 reasons are fundamental to our greater understanding of the meaning of our lives. No, I’m not trying to get existential on you here. I’m being serious.

#1 — It prepares you for what’s to come

One very powerful realization is that everything happens for a reason because it’s preparing you for what’s to come in life. It’s helping to get you ready for a bigger and brighter future. You can’t have the pleasure of success without suffering through the pain of defeat. Even when these are tragedies outside of our control, there is a reason for them.

Cognitively, it doesn’t make sense. I know that. You can’t understand the reasons why someone dies, someone leaves you for someone else, or why a business might collapse. All you’re dealing with at the time is pain. But once that pain washes over you, and you move slowly into the future, things begin happening that wouldn’t have happened had you not suffered through that pain in the first place.

#2 — It makes you more resilient

Failure, tragedy and defeat makes you more resilient. Not at the time when you’re suffering through it. But over time as the weeks, months and years wear on. Often, you will never get over those biggest heartbreaks in life. But that’s okay. Because it shapes you into a more resilient person. It hardens you for what’s to come.

The truth is that tough times never last. But tough people do. And the scars that we receive in life will remind of us where we’ve been, but they don’t necessarily need to dictate where we will go. Don’t wallow too far in misery. Lift yourself up. Find the beauty in the simple things in life because that’s what’s important sometimes.

Ultimately, you understand that not everything is in your control, nor should it be. You simply can’t control everything that happens to you in life. But you can control how you respond. There’s an old quote that says life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.

#3 — It helps you to shatter your old beliefs

When something bad happens to us, and it’s within our control, as in, the circumstances were a product of our own behavior, it makes a big impact on our ego. In fact, it shatters our old beliefs. We fall from grace and realize that whatever it is that we were doing, however it is that we were behaving, wasn’t at all proper.

You look at things differently. You learn to approach it in another way. That’s the thing about beliefs. They’re ingrained in us from childhood. They’re baked into our minds. And it’s so hard to overcome those old beliefs when we’re stuck in our ways living in mediocrity. I’m not talking about tragedies here. I’m talking about failures that we played a role in.

It’s pretty powerful to shatter your old beliefs. It’s essentially your ego crashing down to the floor. We’re able to reason so much of our limiting behavior because it’s steeped in habits. We go after pleasure while trying to avoid pain in the short term. Not in the long term. If we were avoiding pain in the long term we would always do what it took to make big progress and improve over time.

#4 — It helps invite progress not perfection

It’s all about progress and not perfection. Imagine being able to improve any area of your life by just one percent every day. That one percent compounds on itself over time. But too often, we don’t improve. We actually stay stagnant. That is, until we’re jolted out of our old limiting patterns of behavior by some deep amount of pain or failure. That’s when life’s real lessons kick into high gear.

However, too often, when something goes wrong, we fall of the proverbial wagon. We don’t make a little bit of progress. We actually go backwards. However, when that deep and sudden failure occurs, it opens your eyes to the necessity of making progress.

#5 — It makes you more empathetic and real

It’s hard to be empathetic when you haven’t really suffered through major defeat and tragedy. It just is. Sure, you can be sympathetic still. But not empathetic. Empathy only happens when you can truly relate through an experience with someone else. There’s real power in that.

It also makes you far more real and far less superficial. It’s easy to be superficial. We all have 3 faces. The face we show the world, the face we show family and friends, and our other face that we show no one. The latter is our true self. What happens when you suffer through a big tragedy is oftentimes those faces merge and you are left with a much more true and real face.

Why is that important? Because authenticity and transparency is so hard to come by these days. But when you find a person who’s real and authentic and transparent, it really does make you stop dead in your tracks. Those are the types of people that I choose to surround myself with. Not fake people who are only concerned with what others think of them.

Five Reasons Why the Dead Files Is Completely Fake

The Dead Files stands out in that it stars a physical medium named Amy Allan and a former NYPD homicide detective named Steve DiSchiavi, who launch separate investigations of a location before meeting up at the end of each episode to compare notes. Otherwise, it is much the same as other paranormal TV shows out there, meaning that there isn’t much reason to believe it to be real.

Here are five reasons that people should not believe The Dead Files but instead see it as nothing but entertainment:

No Evidence

Despite all of the people as well as all of the resources that have been committed to ghost-hunting over the course of decades and decades, there isn’t even a single piece of undeniable proof that has been captured on either cameras or some other kind of instrument. At best, there have been bits and pieces that can be seen as tenuous support with generous interpretation, but consider all of the “haunted” locations that have been visited by The Dead Files and other paranormal TV shows, one would think that someone somewhere would’ve captured something more solid by now.

Signs of Staging

There is no solid evidence that Allan isn’t a physical medium. However, it is important to note that such powers have never been proven to exist beyond a doubt as well as what seem like signs of staging on the TV show. For example, there is a rather routine sameness to Allan’s revelations – she tends to find the same sort of spirits, she tends to pick up the same sort of impressions, and she tends to utter the same sentences about her experiences. As a result, one cannot help but suspect that she is following a tried-and-true script rather than conducting something more authentic. Furthermore, it is worth noting that The Dead Files and other paranormal TV shows are consistent in conducting their ghost-hunting at night rather than in the daytime, almost as though the show-makers want to make their footage as dramatic as possible.

Superficial Revelations

On a related note, it is rather interesting that Allan provides no fresh insights about what happened at the locations that she investigates. Instead, her revelations contain the same sort of information that could have been gotten from Google, which is rather unsurprising considering that she also appeared on A Haunting as a paranormal researcher using scientific tools rather than psychic powers.

People Want to Be Haunted

To be fair, there are a lot of people out there who are committed to ghost-hunting while remains as fair and unbiased as possible. However, it is important to remember that the stakeholders often want a place to be a haunted, which can influence the results. For example, ghost-hunters want a place to be haunted because that will mean a big payoff for considerable amounts of time, effort, and other resources spent on searching through often unpleasant properties. Never mind the chance of getting their own TV shows. Meanwhile, property owners often want their properties to be haunted because that can prove to be rather lucrative, as shown by all of the people who choose to stay at “haunted” hotels for their vacations.

Other Explanations

Even when there is something suggestive of the supernatural, there is often a better explanation that can be found elsewhere. For example, “haunted” properties are often old and dilapidated, meaning that what can seem like the presence of tormented spirits might be nothing more than uneven heating combined with wind whistling through broken-down places. Furthermore, it is important to remember that humans evolved to be experts at pattern recognition, so much so that it can produce rather misleading results, as shown by people seeing faces and other recognizable patterns on bread, mold patterns, and other miscellaneous surfaces.

About The Author

Nat is the Founder and Editor in Chief of Uncoached Corporation and all its properties. His primary roles are managing editorial, business development, content development, online acquisitions, and operations. Uncoached began in 2007 with one site and a goal of creating content that was clear, concise, worth reading, entertaining, and useful. Since then the portfolio has grown to 8 properties covering a wide array of verticals including business, personal finance, real estate, architecture, television, movies, entertainment, video games, lifestyle, pets, and more.

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It kind of amuses me that people say paranormal investigation is fake because there’s “no evidence”. Yet, quite often, those same people still hold onto the belief in deities and religion when there is no evidence to support the existence of any god, either. If you say all paranormal investigation is fake due to lack of evidence, then you have to shed the blind faith of religion for the same reason or else you become a hypocrite.

I’ve lived in a couple of haunted houses where things happened without explanation. Things flying across a room when you’re in there alone and things moving even when no one is in the room at all can’t be written off at pattern recognition or anything like that. Are there some people who lie about this kind of thing for attention? Sure. But there’s a lot of things that aren’t on TV shows which are not explained.

Your exactly right. The biblical god is as big a joke as are spirits. As for you seeing things…I would suggest you invest in glasses. The human perception is the weakest evidence of all.

I completely agree with the comment t above. I am a believer in the paranormal. I look at it this way. There are so many stories out there of personal experiences with the paranormal. If just ONE of those stories are true, JUST ONE, that makes the spirit world, other dimension, pergatory, whatever name you choose, REAL. If also like to say to the author of this article that Amy was on A Haunting as both an investigator AND a psychic. The paranormal expert interviewed on A Haunting in Georgia, says on the show that Amy is the most talented psychic that he has ever worked with.

Now, I’m not saying that this show isn’t dramatized for T.V. somewhat. But I think it’s a little pessimistic to go wiser the whole of it “fake, and just for entertainment.” Your “reasons” that the show is fake are just as vague, and void of evidence as you say the show is.

I think the post is correct with this particular program unfortunately, and its a shame because programs like this set the stigma for ALL paranormal investigation. I`ve watched quite a few episodes and it seems VERY staged indeed. To me it`s very clear that the “psychic” is forearmed with knowledge about the location. Anybody who guessed `right` to the extent she does, would have been front page news all over the world long ago. I find all her grimacing, sidelong looks at the ceiling, and general eye rolling quite painful. You have to ask the question -why is she hamming it up in front of the cameras when she could be solving real murders or telling us just why the pyramids were built? It would be a breath of fresh air for just ONE episode if she were NOT to find any demons, mad psychotic murderesses or serial killers and tell the camera “Nope, theres nuthin here”… surely it must happen?

I agree. How many times have we seen fakes revealed as frauds when put in the spot? She is either the best psychic of all time and should helping police solves existing murders or she is just a stage prop that is used to wow the audience. I would love to see a few misses where she is baffled or just not getting the kind of information that is needed. Evidently the ghosts seem to be very cooperative with her and they never lie either. If there is a dark shadowy figure she sees that, if there is someone that dies she can see them and what age they were and how they died. If there was an event that happened that was significant then she can tell you what it was and what year it happened. She never misses.

I’ve had many paranormal experiences and I’m convinced that The Dead Files is a complete fraud.

You make a statement without giving any reasons for your statement. Why is it a fraud? What experiences? Personally I have to wonder if the woman psychic is either a complete fraud or she is really psychic. How can she be right on every time and with all the details? I find totally amazing as if someone has told her everything about the place she is investigating. Right down to drawing pictures.

I’ve spent the majority of my 51 years dealing with “activity” and “sightings”. Objects moving on their own, etc. 99% were mildly unnerving at the worst. The 1% was insanely bad. That said…someone here made mention of religion as a great example of belief without “proof”. Spot on. When one experiences ‘God’ or a ‘ghost’ that’s all the proof THAT person ever needs.
That said…this show is at times chuckle-worthy, sometimes foolish, sometimes obviously well choreographed, sometimes truly interesting, sometimes poorly edited and maybe a bit too often the people at the center need to learn a bit about body language and eye control.
So, if you dont like it or dont believe it…stop watching. If you like it and believe it…keep watching
If you want to see what it’s like to deal with regular “activity” come stay with me a while. Today a three drawer cabinet moved 1.5′ across the floor in the kitchen on it’s own. Just one more thing I’ve grown accustomed to.
Be well!

Obviously the losed minded Author of this vague and bland article has no personal experience with the paranormal and also seems to not want this show to be successful, Maybe he had a crush on Amy and she rejected him lol. Amy is very authentic and genuine. Steve is as well, and has the type of integrity that would not allow him to sacrifice his reputation as a long time NYC police officer or personal reputation to be on a show that wasn’t what it’s portrayed to be. He would not purposely be involved in anything that was meant to fool people.
The Author here should report on something that matches his exciting writing style, such as all the varieties of potatoes available to spud lovers.

I think you’re confusing dead files with the slew of other paranormal shows whose purpose is to show up and gather evidence. The evidence you want is. There’s no pictures, there’s no recorders, there’s no attempt to quietly walk around the dark with night goggles and scan the rooms with a fancy tech. What you do have is a physical medium. Something most other shows Don’t have. Her whole purpose is to do a walk-through and try to explain exactly what she sees/feels/hears and that’s pretty much it. She doesn’t taunt them like most other shows as well.
Yes it’s at night. Why? Besides night time being ‘quiet’ and less likely to be interrupted, plus it makes it a lil more spooky. It is television.
Each house, visit, session, ect… Is different. Every medium is different. Every psychic is different. Every ‘gifted’ person is just a little different with different strengths/weaknesses, and handles situations differently. Amy has embraced hers and has more physical reactions vs just a mental whisper.
So if you’re expecting her to be right 100% or even give 100% facts then you’re a lil naive. You can be… Persuaded some times to think/believe abt certain things. Appearance is one, names is another, years of birth/death, ect…
I’d say it’s a more 80-90% truth with a mingle of “let me fill in the blanks” for the rest.
As for these paranormal groups being a ‘lucrative’ job and most wanting recognition… I’d give you the recognition and say… What money? Gotta build a reputation for that.
Also… If you do ‘ghost hunt’ you gotta walk into a building/home/land and believe it’s not haunted. The mind can play tricks and if you’re in the business to search for the paranormal then don’t be easily scared when a building creaks, a branch snaps, or the wind whistles. You stand your ground. Don’t just run because you see eyes in the dark.
Other than that… This article was more “seriously?” Vs “oh hey good point.”

I have to admit, I’m quite fascinated by this show. It’s only in the last 2-3 years that I’ve started watching a few tv shows after not watching tv since the early 2000s.
I still had Comcast/Xfinity for the high-speed internet service but watched nothing more than ID channel and occasional Fox local news for weather & local news. I became vaguely aware by about 2005-2006 that a few paranormal type shows seemed to be hitting the airwaves. Based on the little bit of footage I saw, the format did not appeal to me. They were using bizarre “ghost hunting/ghost detection equipment”, and I instantly felt skeptical because of this. It just seemed absurd to me.
Let’s be honest, after 9/11/2001, who WASN’T skeptical of almost anything and everything?
Fast forward to 2020 and I have seen more than my fair of these shows and have enjoyed several, for the entertainment value alone. Some try harder to appear genuine while others really don’t

I have questions myself about the show. There are times I am more thinking “this seems fake” and other times good. But where I struggle with, is all these so-called “haunted places” they visited, why hasn’t there been any kind of evidence, like them capturing something on film. I have watched all the episodes to date (as far as I know) and yet nothing. With watching these episodes and the “activity” is so bad but yet doing your own investigation you never get anything! If they did get something but edited it out, why?

What would really help the doubters of the show is Amy going first, not Steve. Steve always goes first getting all the background info and THERE IS NOTHING preventing them sharing info besides taking them for their “WORD FOR IT”

Other parts is that I can’t buy into the victims or the people they helping out. Everything seems the same. We see shadow figures, being touched, blah blah blah… Not to mention you can weed out the ones doing it for attention. I can guess which ones won’t go through with the advice of Amy is because they either lazy or just wanted the show.

I am not a religious person, but I also believe there are things in this world that is hard or can’t be explained. For a while, this show had me hooked (still do watch it) but lately been getting what episode is believable and which one isn’t!

Bonus – has anyone else wondered if the sketch artist was like “WTF she having me draw”

I’m so glad you brought up the fact that Amy’s husband is constantly filming while Amy is SEEING all these spirits and yet not one orb, no audible voices or noises… no dark vapors… totally wonder why….

I disagree. One of the episodes, “Satan’s Revenge”, I personally know the family and had been in the house before. I lived in the area and believe me… There is proof that it is real, and that the area is just a dark place to live. This city has been on different shows sa well and incidents and behaviors I have actually seen with my own eyes. I have always been a skeptic when it came to these types of shows, but when this episode aired it just about blew my mind. I had already moved out of the area when the episode aired, but when I moved from the area myself, my health improved dramatically.
A friend’s daughter who lives part time with me and part time back in the city of “Satan’s Revenge”… she states that she is an entirely different person when she is with me and when she goes back. I see the change in her as soon as she arrives back there. Mind you , she has never seen this episode, let alone the show…. I guess seeing is believing.

If you Really want to impress me… Do the walkthrough first. Keep Amy sealed up away from the internet, the camera man, the producer, etc. Go to the site fresh without knowledge of anything at all. Do the walkthrough. Then have Steve do the investigation. Then bring them together. It is the oldest con in the business… Fake medium and con man. The show is completely fake in all details. It makes me laugh. I watch it as a comedy. You can see when they are acting… because they are really bad actors. Nice comedy, though.

What cracks me up is are these people who criticize these shows have a clue? They say there has been no evidence of ghosts etc. what then are the EVP’s people get? what are the shadows people get? what are the furniture people get moving? or things flying off of shelves.
For these people to say these shows are fake etc they honestly do not know anything they make crap up to sell their articles and should be ashamed of themselves. I have seen and heard things my entire life so by them I guess I am lying, well i wish for them to have their own experience and call themselves crazy then.

Sorry but she is a fake. Same old lines sje says after one show from another. Why dont she do readings? Know why? Because shw is a fake

For those wondering why all paranormal investigations happen at night, it’s not because of the added suspense.ever heard of the witching hour? Read Hostage to the Devil, Malachi Martin talks about demonic possession and mentions the reasons as to why evil spirits are stronger at night.

I think they are all fake. The alternative is that all of the producers are stupid. Why? Imagine if one was NOT fake and they set up polygraphs for all of the actors on the Dr Phil show or some other venue that people might trust (maybe a police department would do it for a fee). Passing those tests would shoot the ratings through the roof.

Please *spare* us the overwhelming amount of gadgets and demonstrations of evidence. These people are asking for ‘help’… not ‘proof’. It doesn’t matter what order it’s edited in because it’s tv, where it’s possible to fake anything.

This show and it’s format are successful because it’s more than just ghost hunters with night vision. The stories, history and report of a reputable medium with the capability to actually resolve the issues are the focus. This is a show for the open minded and believers. If you’re a skeptic seeking evidence, watch the live shows on the live cams.

I personally know the victims are legitimate. Of course the producers use sound and effects to make it ‘scary’ and entertaining. This doesn’t prove the show is fake.

Regarding the need for fresh insight and other complaints against Amy’s repetitive mannerisms and reactions… Most victims experience similar common symptoms such as being drained of energy. There’s only so many different ways a person can describe or react to it. I find Amy to be gifted and animated with a unique personality which I personally find entertaining.

With that said, I’ll continue to watch the show not only to be entertained but also because I know it’s legit. I’ll need more undeniable evidence to convince me it’s fake :)

Yesss! You nailed it. I saw this after I commented and it’s pretty consistent with my comment as well!

He seems to be ignoring the fact that the purpose of the Dead Files is to get rid of the haunting which argues against the people trying to make money by showing their house is haunted. Many people follow her recommendations and get the things done that she suggests. Amy has a team that helps some of the people on the Dead Files too. Many of the people see an improvement but the placebo effect is possible, too.

Exactly. Agree 100%

As someone who is a physical medium, myself, I find the argument that this article is constructed around, to be invalid and also doesn’t provide any defining proof of his reasoning. BECAUSE, it is clear that the author of this simply has a lack of understanding and a specific expectation for how the paranormal actually works. The reason that you don’t see items flying around and being manipulated on The Dead Files is because earthbound spirits typically only do things like this when they are trying to gain attention, scare, or harm the living people. However, there is no need for them to do this on this show because they don’t have to do this in order to let their presence be known with Amy. Amy is already acknowledging them and talking to them telepathically from the moment she walks in. That’s why the only physical interaction you see is when they are hitting or touching Amy, which she vocalizes and explains. The physical symptoms or interactions that Amy experiences always correlate with what the family says they experience. Those experiences are also consistent with details Steve finds in his investigation of the historical events. Just because the author personally needs to see someone in full possession or items flying around, to believe its real, is honestly pretty irrelevant to the validity to the show. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but it doesn’t mean it’s a fact. Additionally, she says similar things to explain this what’s happening because there are only so many types of entities that terrorize the living in these ways and they usually have consist ways of acting because they have similar motives. However, there are definitely episodes where Amy informs the families of things she’s never seen and need to be dealt with in a specific unique way. Sometimes she explains that there is no way of removing the entity from the location. If she was faking her abilities, it would serve her personal reputation and abilities a lot better to have an answer for literally everything. Obviously popularity isn’t her motive or she would never leave a location without giving a solid solution. If the author of this article or like minded individuals ever watched her interview outside of the show, they would know she explains all of these concerns and answers all of these questions in more detail. Her findings are not scripted but she does still have to follow the scheduled timeline that map out the episodes, which have nothing to do with her information she gives. If the episodes didn’t have a clear format in how they are put together, it would be a chaotic unorganized mess and would not make sense to the viewers. The camera guy, Matt Anderson, does not even necessarily believe in the paranormal because he’s not a sensitive and hasn’t live in an active location . But in public interviews he states that he knows these are Amy’s true experiences, because he used to be married to Amy Allen and has seen her go through similar experiences when she is completely off camera. All I’m saying is, just because it’s something you can’t see, doesn’t mean it’s real. Air can’t be seen, yet it’s real. Emotions can’t be seen, yet they are real and you see the physical symptoms of them. What IS proven is the scientific fact that energy cannot be created nor destroyed. Humans are energy. When a human dies, this energy remains in our physical world in one way or another.


Something New

15 Reasons Why ’13 Reasons Why’ Is The Worst

Its naive portrayal and understanding of suicide and its link to revenge is not only troublesome, it threatens the very audience it appeals to.

  • by Meg Corzine
  • May 04, 2020

Netflix’s latest series 13 Reasons Why has received notable positive feedback from several critics, but what about the implications on its viewers? The series is based off the 2007 novel Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher and focuses on the story of a student who commits suicide after a series of traumatizing events.

While film and television critics have praised the 13-episode series for both its production and its ability to approach a dark subject in an accessible manner, the show has mental health experts singing a different tune.

Sure, performances may be strong, but the actual plot and script of the series don’t offer much insight on what depression and suicide actually mean and how it should be dealt with. Its naive portrayal and understanding of suicide and its link to revenge is not only troublesome, it threatens the very audience it appeals to.

15 Suicide Is Not A Method Of Revenge

One of the most glaring problems of 13 Reasons Why is the concept of the general plot. The main character, Hannah Baker, feels that she had been wronged by many people from her high school and feels that they have contributed to her spiral into depression and isolation. While this may be true, the depiction of suicide as a form of revenge is troublesome. We all know just how powerful the media’s influence is over teenagers and beyond. The show’s choice to depict Hannah as an altruistic protagonist who seeks to call out every person who has betrayed her is pretty disturbing. Suicide is not a way to get back at people who have hurt you, if anything it affects the people who love you the most.

14 Hannah’s Character Is Not Realistic

Hannah Baker’s character profile just doesn’t add up. She is not an accurate depiction of a person suffering from depression. That being said, of course the signs of depression are not black and white and many people who are depressed don’t actually “seem” depressed at all. However, Hannah has the energy and motivation to plan an elaborate scheme to get back at all of her former friends and acquaintances. As one viewer noted, people who suffer from depression often barely have the energy to get out of bed in the morning. While Hannah may have had some real issues going on, her diagnosis as a depressed and suicidal person is not necessarily on point. Everyone has different issues to deal with, and acknowledging those issues and finding the right diagnosis is vital to getting help.

13 There’s A Lack Of Authoritative Figures

You are loved, you are important, and there are people who are willing to listen and help. That’s the truth and that’s what people who suffer from depression and mood disorders need to know. Thirteen Reasons Why completely neglects to acknowledge this. Why? Because in terms of television ratings, it’s easier to make Hannah an isolated victim with no access to help than addressing the reality of the situation. And that’s not okay. It’s not always easy to come out to someone and tell them how you are feeling. And the fact that Hannah never really did is not her fault. However, it’s important to know that when you do have the courage to come forward, people are willing to listen. You are not alone.

12 There’s No ‘Reason’ To End Your Life

The whole basis of the show’s title is completely disgusting. The title 13 Reasons Why justifies suicide in just three words. There are no reasons to end your life, whether you have an issue with one person or 100 people. People don’t end their lives because it is the rational and healthy thing to do, they end their lives because they feel hopeless. For a lot of people suffering from mental health issues, there may be no individual or event that even led them to suicide. A lot of times depression is a state of being. Is the narrative of Hannah revealing what drove her to end her life engrossing and important? Yes. But that doesn’t mean that suicide is ever the answer to your problems.

11 It’s Exploitative

The series is an irresponsible dramatization of what suicide actually is. The show is all about mystery, secrets, sex scandals, and revenge. Well, yeah, it’s the perfect combination for a good series, but not exactly healthy content for viewers. More than 1 in 20 Americans battle depression, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Among Americans 12 years of age and over, a greater percentage of females reported depression than males. And almost 10 percent of adults, aged 40-59, reported current depression. It’s not something to be taken lightly, and it’s certainly not something to be exploited. The show has been commended for addressing issues that are often avoided by mainstream media (i.e. depression, sexual assault, bullying, etc.). However, the show itself violates basically every guideline when it comes to depicting suicide in a healthy way.

10 The Show’s Direct Impact

Perhaps most troubling of all is the show’s direct correlation with suicidal thoughts among youth. Health experts are worried, parents are worried, and you should be worried, too. A national counseling survey revealed there has been an increase in calls directly related to the show. “There is a responsibility for broadcasters to know what they are showing and the impact that certain content can have on an audience – and on a young audience in particular,” the head of the organization Headspace, said in a press release. Several school officials throughout the country have also sent home warnings and letters to parents citing concerns regarding the show. One sixth grade class in Canada has even banned students from discussing the show at all during school hours due to its mature and graphic content.

9 Showing Methods Doesn’t Help, It Hurts

If teens are having suicidal thoughts, the last thing they need to be exposed to is direct methods on how to take your own life. Mental health officials say that the show’s graphic content may have a “triggering” and even persuasive effect on young people who are suffering from emotional distress. The problem is not emotionally stable adults watching this show, the problem is those who are already at risk and on the border of suicidal thoughts. Unfortunately, that category is not insignificant. Violent scenes of suicide do not discourage people from committing suicide, if anything it normalizes it. The fact that Hannah ultimately chooses suicide as a reaction to her depression is a real-life situation, but glamorizing suicide is exactly the opposite of what people suffering should be exposed to.

8 Mental Health Experts Diverge

The divide could not be clearer and it’s almost embarrassing that media critics call 13 Reasons Why an accurate and brave depiction of a taboo subject; when mental health experts all agree that the show is alarming. The show’s sole value is not informative, it’s pure entertainment. Even while acknowledging all the flaws and red flags of the show, even I had trouble not binge-watching the series. A sample review from a television critic is as follows, “The drama is sensitive, surprising, consistently engaging, and, most important, unblinking.” And 85 percent of critics agree that the show is gold. Meanwhile, a sample “review” from a mental health expert sings a different tune: “We do not recommend that vulnerable youth, especially those who have any degree of suicidal ideation, watch this series. Its powerful storytelling may lead impressionable viewers to romanticize the choices made by the characters and/or develop revenge fantasies.”

7 It Makes Suicide Glamorous

Want to be the most talked about girl in school? All you have to do is take your own life and document what drove you to suicide. That’s the message the show sends to at-risk youth and it’s one of the biggest flaws of the entire series. Suicide should not be glamorized, but the producers managed to do this effortlessly. The show thinks it is being responsible with its depiction, while really it does the opposite. People of all different social and economic statuses are driven to suicide. However, the fact that Hannah is an extremely good-looking, likable, and relatable character has a heavy influence on its audience. The aftermath of suicide is not a 13-hour unfolding story of suspense and intrigue, it’s a lifelong battle with grief for the people who have loved and lost.

6 Approval From Others Is Not The Solution

When looking at mental health issues, quite often the problem is internal. The show’s emphasis on seeking approval from peers and being loved by others is not the message we should be sending to at-risk teens. As cliche as it might sound, happiness comes from within and if a person is struggling emotionally, they need to feel okay with themselves before focusing on how others make them feel. The characters who are blamed for Hannah’s suicide are left believing that if they had only reached out more, been nicer, or been more attentive, that they could have saved Hannah. Unfortunately, that probably isn’t the case. As I mentioned before, revenge is not the answer. Putting blame on others for a teenager’s death and normalizing it is anything but normal.

5 It’s Drawn Out

Why does it take 13-hours to chronicle what strengthened the insecurities and weaknesses of a young teenage girl? Because it reels in a younger audience who is engrossed in a morbid teen drama, that’s why. As written in a New York Times review, “The rest of us won’t have as much patience for the show’s excessively convoluted, repetitive, and unlikely story, or for the narrative gimmick reflected in its title.” The purpose of dividing the series into a 13-tape/episode narrative is to give some semblance of order in what drove Hannah Baker to suicide. However, Hannah’s downward spiral is anything but convincing and we’re left wondering why it takes two episodes to reveal that a creepy and messed up student took photos outsider of Hannah’s window.

4 Suicide Should Not Be Treated As A Legend

Suicide should not, not, not, not, NOT be glorified. Suicide is not a glamorous thing that occurs when a person wants to be idolized or remembered. It’s the consequence of a serious mental illness that leaves the people who love the victim heartbroken and aching for years on end. The fact that Hannah pre-plans her suicide as an elaborate form of entertainment is harmful to its viewers. The best way to be remembered is by living your life. And by presenting Hannah as a hero in the life of her peers post-death, all but refutes that message entirely. This is not to say that people who suffer from mental illness take their lives out of selfishness or misinformation, but suicide should not be treated as a legend to be told.

3 It Misses The Mark By Being Too Obvious

An unfortunate aspect of 13 Reasons Why is what the show could have done to address mental illness in a healthy, responsible way. Critics are too caught up in the fact that a popular series came out with a focus on the various issues teens deal with, and less concerned with how these issues are dealt with. The series is so caught up with making a point that bad behavior leads to negative consequences, that it completely misses the opportunity to educate. The performances, while well-acted, feel more artificial than anything – and it’s hard to get a sense of real emotion out of the characters. “The characters very rarely come across as real, perhaps because the story itself is so contrived,” one Washington Post critic noted.

2 It Doesn’t Actually Address Any Real Warning Signs

While the series is chock-full of romance, suspense, betrayal, and gender stereotypes. it fails to actually address any of the real warning signs of depression and other issues surrounding mental health. The truth of the matter is the protagonist of the show decided life was so hopeless that it was time to end it. Since Hannah was already dead at the beginning if the series, it offers viewers very little idea on what the real warning signs of mental health issues are. For that very reason alone, the NASP has stated that it “does not recommend that vulnerable youth, especially those who have any degree of suicidal ideation, watch this series.” At risk youth and families are instead encouraged to turn to real help and resources as a means of dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts.

1 People Are Here For You

And last but certainly not least, if you’re reading this and the issues seen within 13 Reasons Why struck a chord with you, you are not alone. Thousands of social media users have flocked to Facebook, Twitter, and Reddit to voice the effect the show has had on them. “For many of us, the show hits very close to home. It can bring back past memories and thoughts that are unwanted. Unfortunately, some of you may feel in a very similar position to the character of Hannah in the show. We as a community would never want to deny someone help with such issues if they needed it,” a Reddit PSA reads. If you need help talk to a close friend or family member or even a total stranger who is willing to listen here:

Substance Abuse: 1-877-726-4727Domestic Abuse: 1-800-799-7233Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433Crisis Textline: Text “start” to 741-741Human trafficking: 1-(888)-373-7888Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272

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